Friday, May 17, 2013

The only thing I know for sure is that I know nothing, except that which is happening in this moment.

OK, so I've been schooled. I've never had a big ego, but what little of it remained has been washed away. When I'm told I don't know how to paint, when I'm told I know nothing, when I, and my art, are laughed at, well it is sort of hard to not take notice of this. So, I look at such things objectively without any attachment. Art was my life, my career, and it was all being torn away from me, laugh by laugh. So do I really give a fuck what someone else thinks? No, not really, but I'm not a fool either to see that such people come in with similar messages, at a time when I need an answer. Answers aren't always a pretty pat on the back, sometimes they are a kick in the crotch. This is all about me too, not them. They have their own baggage to deal with I am sure of it, but that is not my concern. What I have to do, is figure out why this is happening. It actually didn't take very long to get answers. I had reached a point where I needed growth. As an artist, but more as a person. So, I took all this criticism to soul, not to heart and then searched for answers. I found them quick enough. I bought books, resource material, started to ask for help and guidance of other artists. Didn't get me TOO far on that last one. Why are artists so secretive? Why not tell all? Perhaps it is best that way. Learn myself. I learned computer graphics all on my own. I learned how to build a shed all on my own, fix a washing machine, create a laundry room, make animation, etc, etc, so this fit nicely with my way of thinking/being. If the artists weren't going to talk (fully), then I would figure this out for myself. Experimenting would be my path. I'm kind of into that anyway. I live never knowing what the next moment has in store, so why not dive in deeper. So after 9 months of not painting, but researching, asking, learning, I made my first step. It is a learning step and I welcome any advice at any point from here on in from anyone who wishes to add input.

Before I post my first steps here. I will say that I DO think I have talent and I do think I am creative and I do know how to create an image on canvas. I just want to do it better, or (another way to say it), be better at who I am and see how that translates into what comes of it. What is made manifest because of this newness.


The Supplies:

Sun-thickened Linseed oil. I have a 13" X 9" X 2" glass oven dish, 2 pieces of wood (I used some old paint stirsticks, a piece of glass and a screen from an old window.








 The procedure:

I poured the linseed oil about 1/2" thick into the dish, laid the screen on top of the dish to seal the open edges - to keep out insects, dust. I then placed the two pieces of wood on either end, then laid the glass on top. I could probably do without the screen, but there are quite a few insects around and I want to keep the oil as clean as possible, and from what I have read, I don't think it will hinder the process.



I will let this set for about 2 weeks. Check it periodically, stir it and wait until it is the right consistency - a honey-like viscosity.

I will update this post when I see the results.

Constructive comments welcomed!
Thanks,
CP